Living as a Child of God

there's a lot I'd like to share and I'm going to try to make this as coherent as possible.

I suppose it starts with "actions speak louder than words" and trying to live a Godly life. There was a speaker at Creation '08 who told us a story about his yearbook, and he was flipping through it and read all sorts of comments from friends like "man you were always so funny" and "you're a great dude" or whatever, but it was never "you're such a child of God!" and he really lamented that. Similarly tonight at Evensong Jay spoke and brought up the situation "how do you react when someone asks if you're Christian?" there's a few options, something awkward like "ehh well...kinda...not really" something bold and honest like "yeah man, Jesus is my homeboy" or my new favorite "what do you think?" I think for some people that's a really tough situation, especially in college (or at least liberal colleges like Ithaca). In these environments there is a lot of anti-religion going on and more likely than not you're going to have close non-christian friends, and depending on how open you are with them, they might not know about your faith. If those kids are the type that like to make fun of religion and judge people it might be tough being bold about it. But I think really the best way to go about it is to live your life as a child of God so they know the answer before they ask the question. If they love you for who you are and already know the answer then there shouldn't be any reason to be afraid of "coming out" about your faith.

the next step is sharing your faith with them. how difficult is that? if you love them for who they are and want to preserve the friendship, why would you try to change them and their beliefs? on the other hand, if you love them, you want to share God's love with them. you want them to know about Him and be able to experience His joy and peace as well. but it's definitely a tough thing. please pray for everyone in situations like that, that all Christians have the courage to be open about their faith and share it with their friends that don't know God. cause in the end, we are called to be witnesses, and what better place to start than with people we care about?

so how do we live a Godly life? well the two things I've been focusing on lately are loving and serving. we are called to love others and to put ourselves last. Loving others, however old of a concept, has managed to shed light on particular areas of interest lately. the issue of homosexuality in religion has been a pretty hot topic recently, particularly for the Lutheran church. I've had a rather diverse history with my opinion on the topic, which I don't really want to get into, but my conclusion is this: love. we are not called to judge others. sure, homosexuality by the Bible's definition is a sin, but so is a ton of stuff that straight people do. who are we to say that sin is worse than anything we do. and we do sin. "forgive us our sins, known and unknown." we are NOT perfect. so who are we to point our fingers and say "oh, we can see that's CLEARLY a sin so you're not good enough to worship with us (etc.)"? that is not what we are called to do. it's God's decision who's sin is worse. we are not called to decide that, we are called to love. love your neighbors. love your enemies. love EVERYONE. and we're all sinners.

as for serving, it's been a quite lovely experience to focus on it and be consciously aware of it. there will come plenty of times in life where you are presented with an opportunity to serve. some days you'll say "you know, I've done all this other stuff, I'm gonna let someone else take this one..." but that's not how it works. I'm not saying overwork yourself and don't delegate or whatnot, but if you see an opportunity to serve- take it. it feels wonderful to lighten someone else's burden and it feels like your child of God light is shining.

I suppose I won't elaborate more other than to say there are a lot of awful things going on in this world and I wish I could say loving and serving is enough to fix them, but I don't know if I can truly believe that. Prayer is a good place to start, for through God all things are possible. the other good news is that there are steps being made in the proper direction. two organizations fighting awfulness I'd like to bring up are:

To Write Love on Her Arms- a suicide prevention movement. www.twloha.com

Invisible Children- it's about children soldiers who are abducted in Africa. the numbers are astronomical and the history of it is heartwrenching and terrifying. they need a lot of prayer. www.invisiblechildren.com

~God's Love and Peace be with you always~

points of focus

I recently started reading "the purpose driven life" which is set up in devotional format and I certainly recommend it. I particularly love my copy that I picked up at the library booksale which has notes in the margins and scraps of paper stuck in from the previous owner. It's fun to see how closely they relate to me in their reactions to what the author has written.  there are a few points of contemplation that I'd like to share here and hopefully invoke discussion on.

There are a lot of things that people focus on that I've never really found myself prone to spend countless hours contemplating. considering the topics of this book I'm wondering if perhaps I should spend more time meditating on the subjects. for one, the question of meaning of life has never really peaked my curiosity.  It just seems blatantly obvious to me that we were put here by God to serve and love Him. He gave us certain gifts and we are to use them to His glory. the rest is inconsequential. however, its thorough discussion in Christian novels are making me wonder if (like the first time I read "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and assumed the identity of the Half-Blood prince was obvious but then it turned out to be a different character than I expected) my hasty conclusion is not all there is to the matter.

also, I don't spend a lot of time contemplating what comes after this life. I know that if I love God and live for Him there will be a place for me in His house once my time here is up. A lot of places say that this life is "preparation" for the next. what on earth does "preparation" mean? is it like High School where you're learning how to learn so that when you get to the stuff you need to learn for your particular field you know how to? I thought the only thing necessary to be ready for the next life is loving God.

Evangelism is another thing. I read a book by Pat Boone called "A New Song" (I don't recommend it to anyone who is bothered by sub-par writing style or grammar). It's basically a spiritual autobiography for him and his family. They were a family that was very outspoken about their faith and very willing to talk to people with different beliefs and "talk them into God" so to speak. I'm definitely a person who would like to respect other people's beliefs. I mean, I have a hard enough time walking up to other christians and saying "hey can we talk about God?" so clearly I don't have the gumption to talk to people with other views. I will certainly ask them about their views and hear what they believe, as well as share what I believe and answer any questions that they have to the best of my ability, but I'm just not in the business of imposing my views on others. I have in several instances heard what they believe and sometimes I can tell that God is the only gap in their logic and begin praying for them that their hearts might be open to Him. To make up for my lack of outgoingness on the subject matter I also frequently pass on books I feel would be helpful to them and their faith as well as particular songs or bands that speak more articulately than I can. I think I've decided the evangelical path for me is to live my life all for God and hope that serves as a catalyst for people to ask about Him.  Pat's daughters all had a certain glow about them that other people very much noticed when they decided their lives entirely to Jesus, and that is what got them asking about God and their faith and led to many people coming to Christ in the Boone home. 

My strongest tool is prayer. so I will be praying for the strength and guidance to live in a way that touches everyone I meet with God's light and love and gets them thinking about Him, as well as praying for those who don't know Him, that the eyes of their hearts might open and see Him

I thank God for timing. A few years ago I read a book that was just so perfectly timed in my life and today I picked up the next book by the same author and it is the best imaginable timing. He has so much planned and in control that we could never know about. I suspect that one of my lessons for this summer is how to lead a less busy lifestyle to highlights the habits that need to be cleaned up and learn how to truly know that God is in control.

I also think this summer is the answer to my prayers at the end of the semester which was my daily morning wishes of only wanting to practice and learn about God.

and on that note, I think I'll practice organ tonight :-)

Psalm 4- a bedtime prayer

I feel like this is the Psalm for when the troubles of the world are weighing on you as you are preparing yourself for rest.  This is the perfect Psalm for letting go of all your frustration and remembering God will take care of it. not to mention, it ends with: 

"In peace I will lie down and sleep for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe"

why let any worldly thing bother us? God's got it under control, and he can do far more heavy lifting than any of us. Jesus came for and left with our burdens. 

~I pray we give all our burdens to you~

Psalm 3- God in Harry Potter terms

God is my Patronus. (yes. that wizard rock tour has influenced my mind to be on Harry Potter more than it should be)

ANYWAY

God is my Patronus. oh jeeze, i should probably explain for those who haven't experienced HP or forgot what a Patronus is. right, ok, so there's these things that suck the happiness and soul out of you and the Patronus is what you cast to make them go away. it's like a shield or a force field around you that you have to think of something happy to create. Good Patronus' take the shape of an animal that most closely resembles you, or if you have been changed by grief or something else strong it might change form. ANYWAY hopefully the rest of my explanation of my statement will clarify it further. so.

God is my Patronus.  It is from Him that my joy comes and He is my force field that keep the sadness at bay. By eminating Him I am protecting my soul from all the evil influences that seek to taint or control it. 

When Harry learns this spell he is told to "think of something happy" what could be happier than a Heavenly Father who loves you more than anything and holds you in the palm of His hand?

"I'm trading my sorrows for the joy of the Lord"

~I pray when the unpleasantness of the world press upon us we may remember the Joy we have in God and let that joy shine through us like a forcefield against them~

Psalm 2- Freedom

God created us in a particular way with certain abilities and passions. We are free when we live our lives using the abilities and passions he gave us, not by following what the world tells us we should be doing.  We need to listen to God's voice and live by His will. If we fall slave to other voices we are not FREE

What does it mean to be free? 

to me, when this Psalm talks about being Free I imagine the feeling of freedom. The liberating feeling of overwhelming joy. I most closely associate that feeling with 2 memories in my life- 1 was riding a 4 wheeler in a field in Potter County, not having to stay on a road or avoid the bumps, just going as fast as I felt like and feeling the air rushing past me. and 2-the feeling of doing what I love and knowing that's what I'm meant to be doing. this happens frequently but most strongly at State band my Senior year with Peter Boonshaft. the music that ensemble made was unbelievable and we all felt it. to this day I can't listen to the recording of that concert without being moved to tears. 

I know that the feeling of freedom that came with those experiences is the same feeling I get when I sing to God. When I'm making music for Him or listening to music being made for Him I feel that same liberation. That same overwhelming joy. That's how I know that's God's will for me. He blessed me with the gift of music and when I use it for his Glory I get that freedom.

does that make sense? when you read Free does it mean something else to you?

~I pray we are all free in living for God, the way He created us to be~

Psalm 1- the voices we listen to

I read this Psalm and immediately wrote another song that has a chorus with no verses.

Here's the chorus, it's still a work in progress:

I don't wanna hear it

not what you've got to say 

I don't wanna hear it

not from you, not today

What to do how to live

Cause I've got more to give

I just know

I've gotta do it God's way

yeah. it needs work. anyway...

I feel like this psalm is encouraging us not to listen to what non-christians advise us to do. It's not God's will if it's not coming from Him or His children. God wants us to listen to Him and His followers for their hearts are with Him and they live for Him. To live a Godly life it is good to be closest friends with other christians. we should love everyone but only seek counsel from those whose hearts are with God.

who do you go to when you need help figuring life out?

"where does my help come from?"

we should look to God and God's children

"My help comes from you, maker of heaven and Earth"

~I pray we all look to God and children of God when we need counsel~

Blessing vs curse

So I went on tour with Lena, one of my best friends from school, and was the drummer for her Wizard Rock Band (music about Harry Potter) The Butterbeer Experience (youtube us. there are videos from our gig at the venom club in Boston!!). I've decided to call it the Cursed tour '09 (though for lena and graceface it's the "Parking ticket tour") It was tons of fun and a great experience, if for no other reason than now I know what that kind of a tour is like. Parts of it, like Perkins after the Bethlehem show and hanging out in NYC with my alumni friends and hanging out in Boston with friends from Ithaca and Larry were SOOOOOOOOOOO fun and wonderful and awesome and I was so grateful that this tour provided me with those opportunities. And the parts when we were playing were excellent also. Other parts, however, were not so sunshine and daisies.

Have you driven in NYC? It's actually not as bad as I was expecting. Yes, people drive absolutely STUIPD but the good news is that they do it really slowly. It's like when you're learning a really difficult lick but it's totally manageable when you take it really slow. It's TOTALLY possible to manage the stupid driving because everyone's traveling under 10mph. so THAT part of driving was a relief. the part that was not so great was not knowing how to get where I was going. thankfully, Susan had enough internet to find me on a map and talk me through how to get where I was going. Lena and I got separated before the holland tunnel and it turned out she didn't get there with her directions anyway. epic freaked out quote of that drive "I'M ON A BRIDGE" (for those of you on the Creation '08 trip, it was in a tone quite akin to "I DROVE INTO A FIELD") So the stress of getting there behind me Lena helps me find a parking space and now my only worry is for the safety of my drumset in the back of my car. Lena and Grace (another wrocker) both got parking tickets, though I was spared. 

there were other parts of the tour that I was grumpy about, such as rain while I was bringing my drumset in in Boston. and being in the wrong place in Boston. and random other small things, but the thing that struck me most was when we arrived in NYC and we got the go ahead from Lena to set up and everything then someone walked in and the sound guy came in and started flipping out that the drumset was on the stage because supposedly they had told everyone not to put anything on stage till the sound guy got there. they were very rude and much more upset than they needed to be. later on they calmed down and were perfectly pleasant to us and even really enjoying our playing, but to me I felt that if they had been leading God centered lives they probably wouldn't have gotten so worked up about something so easily ameliorated. The only kind of (rock/pop) band I ever imagined myself touring with was a Christian band. I can't help but think that should I ever be in a band that does a lot of touring it would have to be a christian band because then I'll be mostly encountering and working with other christians. I know that's not guarantee, but I think it would be better anyway. I'm hoping for a Blessed tour someday.

My visit to Boston University last week looking into grad school only reinforced this hypothesis. We had an appointment at the School of Music and the School of Theology. while they were perfectly friendly and inviting at the School of Music I couldn't help but feel more comfortable with the admissions counsellor at the school of Theology. I didn't realize it right away but as our conversation went on I realized it was because we weren't just talking about a school but a place in which people grow spiritually. And it was evident that we were both people who seek spiritual growth. the atmosphere surrounding that conversation and tour was drastically different than that in the music school, even though a music school is where I feel most comfortable with having lived in one for the past 3 years :-)

I really like the idea of surrounding myself with christians, which segues nicely into my next post actually...

Prologue (or Prelude, if you will)

today I'm gonna put up a bunch of posts. I'm splitting them up so they're more manageable. so that's why. now you know.

the ones following this one are my reflections on Psalms. the reason: I've been wanting to do a Bible study with people for over a year now, and while everyone I've asked has been very enthusiastic, the ball never rolled for any of us. so I decided to start in on Psalms and post my reflections with the hope that they will inspire discussions in the comment section for them. It's an open bible study I invite everyone to join me in :-)

I will be using my NLT student study bible which has lots of sidenotes and background info and stuff to think about it. I might reference some of it. I invite you to read your favorite version of the Psalm I'm discussing at biblegateway.com it's very easy to search and look at your favorite translation or multiple translations

My bible has a lovely intro to Psalms I'd like to share:

God's Word was written to be studied, understood, and applied, and the book of Psalms lends itself most directly to application.  We may turn to Psalms looking for something, but sooner or later we will meet Someone.  As we read and memorize Psalms, we will discover how much they are already part of us.  They put our deepest hurts, longings, thoughts, and prayers into words.  They gently push us toward being what God designed us to be- people who love and live for him.

but first, the post I meant to post a while ago.

All to You

I have a lot to say about life recently, particularly the tour I just got home from, but I'm having trouble focusing at the moment so you can look forward to hearing that soon but for now I'll post something I've been meaning to post for quite a while.

As any of you who heard my talk about "God's Peace" heard- my theme song for life right now is Lincoln Brewster's "All to You" It's so true. and we can only achieve God's piece through the diligence that faith in Him requires. it ALL as got to go to Him. He is the only way. anyway, here are the lyrics.

You called me Lord
You know my name
I'm standing out
I'm not ashamed
No, No

I've searched and came up empty
This world has nothing for me
You are my one and only

Chorus:
I'm living my life for You
And I'm giving everything to You
Not holding back, from every part
I'm giving it all to You

You are the Lord of all I am
And, I'll never be the same again
I've searched and came up empty
This world has nothing for me
You are my one and only

I totally recommend listening to it. Youtube is a good place for that.

I pray we all give it ALL to Him :-)

~Beth

A Good Day

I've been having a lovely day, and I wanted to share.

As I'm sure you either know or have surmised- life has been very busy/stressful lately. I rarely feel like my head is screwed on correctly. My recital is this Saturday, and while I'm very excited for it and everyone coming to it, it has been a lot of work. In particular, my weekends have suffered. Instead of serving their function of catchup and recuperation for the coming week they have been devoted to preparation for my recital and other work that needed to get done. So today's being unexpectedly wonderful is a blessing that will not be taken for granted.

So to begin with, last night I had a lovely conversation with a friend about him coming to God which was really wonderful because while he has been involved with our Evensong since arriving at Ithaca College he didn't actually believe...so I'm very glad to hear that things have changed. Also my plans for rehearsal last night for my recital did not happen. But steps to prepare for a better rehearsal today did. So I woke up earlier than planned to meet with someone to go over the newest preparation of that music since last night's rehearsal didn't happen. First he was late, which worked out well cause I was a little late and I had other stuff I wanted to do before we met anyway. So I got to take care of that business and chill for a little bit and had a very entertaining phone call with him while he was so flustered he was entirely incoherent but said he'd meet me soon. Then when he got there we went through the music and it was fun and wonderful and he totally relieved all my concerns about whether or not that stuff would come together.

Naturally, I left the room singing the last song we worked on quite loudly and walking down the hall oddly and who should I run into but my boss who was walking out of a room and upon seeing me turned right around and walked back in. haha. I couldn't ask for a better boss. Then I went to my class for today which was wonderful and we actually discussed an extended technique that my friends and I were messing around with this past Friday night...I felt dorky but exhilarated remembering the good times we had recording Friday for a christian rock album.

Post-theory I went to the pub as par usual for some lunch and possibly meeting up with my parkie friend since he usually happens to bump into me around then. I first got Grab 'n Go and noticed that on my way from the Grab 'n Go entrance to the pub every single door was held open for me and I thought that was odd but good (you know how I like the little things) When I got to the pub I had the pleasant surprise of bumping into one of my christian friends that I've been getting to know lately. We sat down and had a FANTASTIC conversation that I really really really really REALLY needed to have. We talked about God and our friends and the good stuff with God lately and the tough stuff with friends and...I knew recently that I really needed a conversation like that and...God just made it happen :-) He knew I needed to hear that voice and hear the things he had to say.

Have you been listening to God lately? how has He been speaking to you?

I love you all. Please pray for me and my friends as the year comes to a close and everyone traveling to see my recital this Saturday!!!

We Live

by Superchick

There' s a cross on the side of the road 

where a mother lost a son

how could she know that the morning he left 

would be the last time she'd trade with him for a little more time 

so she could say she loved him one last time

and hold him tight

but with life we never know

when we're coming up to the end of the road

so what do we do then 

with tragedy around the bend?

We live we love

We forgive and never give up 

Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above and today we remember to live and to love

There's a man who waits for the tests

to see if the cancer has spread yet

and now he asks, "So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?"

if I could have the time back how I'd live

Life is such a gift

So how does the story end?

Well this is your story and it all depends

So don't let it become true

Get out and do what we were meant to do

We live we love

We forgive and never give up

Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above

And today we remember to live and to love

Waking up to another dark morning

People are mourning

The weather in life outside is storming

But what would it take for the clouds to break

For us to realize each day is a gift somehow, someway?

So get our heads up out of the darkness

and spark this new mindset and start to live life cuz it ain't gone yet

and tragedy is a reminder to take off the blinders

and wake up and live the life we're supposed to take up

Moving forward with all our heads up cuz life is worth living

we live we love we forgive and never give up

cuz the days we are given are gifts from above 

and today we remember to live and to love

I pray we all remember to live and to love.

Please keep my uncle who's cancer has returned in your prayers

prayers

thank you for all your prayers, things are looking up with my friend.

does anyone have any good bible verses for Change or Goodbyes? every time I think of March 22 I'm an absolute wreck. Please pray for all the members of my congregation that are having a hard time saying goodbye.

I want to be the Moon

so there's this song by my second favorite Christian rock band EVER (to Newsboys of course), Paul Colman Trio (unfortunately disbanded, but now Paul Colman plays for Newsboys so I'm happy) called "Sun-Stars-Moon" that I've been thinking about a lot lately and wanting to share with people...so I am. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

I want to be the Moon, It reflects the Sun

don't want to be the Star, that shines on everyone

I want to be with you, cause you're the only one

who heals my lonely soul

isn't that beautiful? Aren't we all here to reflect God's love and glory? Sometimes aren't we or someone we know the Stars that shines over everyone thinking that they're the salt of the earth? but that's not right, even if we're the lonely moon we can only be healed through reflecting God in our lives.

there's two things I'd like to touch on-

One is that today I was reading my bible and catching up on my devotions (sorry mom, i'm a few days behind) and I was supposed to be reading Psalm 119:25-32, but I got distracted by..well..my name being a few stanzas earlier. Did you know Beth is the second letter in the Hebrew alphabet? I like that, because it puts me second, and I like being second (to the Sun/Son?)(i.e. Beth2) anyway, here's what it says (NLT):

Beth

How can a young person stay pure?

By obeying your word.

I have tried hard to find you-

don't let me wander from your commands.

I have hidden your word in my heart,

that I might not sin against you.

I praise you, O Lord;

teach me your decrees.

I have recited aloud

all the regulations you have given us.

I have rejoiced in your laws

as much as in riches.

I will study your commandments

and reflect on your ways.

I will delight in your decrees

and not forget your word. (Psalm 119:9-16 NLT)

So what to read into this? I think something that attracts me to this passage is that it talks about imperfections and overcoming them. Even in my tween years I always gravitated towards the verses that said "stuff was bad, but God is awesome so as long as I trust in Him it's all good" (ish). Last night I got to listen in on my friends discussing their devotional and they had a discussion about the difference between confession and repentance. do you know it? I thought I did..but then I thought about it and realized I had to ask. They very clearly explained that confessing is admitting you have a problem, but repenting is the next step where you fix the problem. I like this passage because it's about preparing yourself for what should happen in your spiritual life should you stumble, but it also works retrospectively to bring you back to God and help you confess and repent by turning your life back to Him.

so the second (I know, that was long, I'll keep this brief), is that there is a Star in my life that has been burning too brightly for their own good lately. They were a very dear friend of mine until recently when they decided to be good friends with one person to the exclusion of all others. It's very sad for me when I lose friends, for whatever reason, and very frustrating and painful when they have no desire to try to salvage our friendship. What is especially saddening about this situation is that they have recently really strengthened their relationship with God, which is great and I'm so SO happy and thankful, but our friendship was completely lacking in that aspect. So not only have I lost a friend but I've lost a friend that I could talk about God and grow in our faiths with. I have also noticed lately that they go out of their way to make themselves look good, even with as little of things as gestures at inappropriate times or emphaticness where it's unnecessary, but most especially showing off their talents to make other people look bad. 

please pray for them and for me.

I pray we all can be the Moon and reflect the Son

Can we talk about God?

is that an awkward question? sometimes it's really what I want to say to people. Actually, there's a couple people I'd like to say that to right now, but what am I expecting them to answer? "um..ok...what about God?" I just...want to talk about God. He's on my mind, He's in my life and I think that people should talk about Him more. I don't think conversations like that should be out of the ordinary. does that mean I'm at the wrong school? maybe Sarah and I should trade, haha. No, I'd probably go crazy there too :-p 

But really, I don't know what I'm hoping to glean from asking that. I'll probably just make things awkward, as usual. I guess maybe I want to know what God means to them, how He's working in their life. I love hearing people's faith journeys at Evensong because it's always such a wonderful reminder that He is actively working in everyone's lives. 

speaking of Evensong, we had the first annual Alumni Evensong this weekend which was a bit stressful leading up to it, what with the demands of both plugged in, unplugged, the possibility of tons of guitars and drummers and even two pianists but no bass or vocals...all that and no one knowing how many people to expect therefore how much food to prepare or even the time in which to prepare it! MASS CHAOS!!!! haha. but of course it was in His hands and all turned out wonderfully...I knew it would. and how spiritually refreshing to see all those faces that I've grown in faith with over the past 3 years. (yes I miss them already and yes I'm trying not to cry). Anyway, there was a miscommunication over the past few months and as it turned out the alumnus who we thought agreed to speak had in fact agreed to no such thing so the night before we were frantically making phone calls and OF COURSE my wonderful friends pulled through and came up with a fantastic talk that touched the hearts of many. 

I had the great fortune of being part of the brainstorming process for this, and the topic we spent a lot of time discussing was people, Christians and non-Christians having difficulty going to Christian friends for advice- and vice versa- Christians having a hard time giving their friends advice. On one hand the friend might feel judged fessing up to what's been going down in their less-than-perfect life, but on the other, the Christian friend is afraid to come off too strong, i.e. "GOD WILL SMITE YOU FOR YOUR SINS!!! BBAAAHHHH!!!!!!" (ok, that's the extreme, but you get the point). Interesting topic to ponder, no? 

She wound up speaking about how a lot of times she says stuff that sounds positive but she's really thinking in the negative, but she only realized it this winter break. Example: you're visiting a friend after a really rough week and you say "wow I'm glad I'm here" and you're thinking "cause being at home would be awful" something to that effect. do you do that? I try not to, I usually am as honest as I can be. I'd say the exception is when someone has recently hurt me I will fake being ok with everything for a short period until it really is, and during that time my thoughts often deviate from my words.

Also recently I saw Star Wars for the first time, made possible by a new but good friend, and what struck me is the concept of "the force." It can defeat anything and everyone wants to be a Jedi knight so they can use "the force." So...why aren't people really excited about the Force that's real? Why are they all hung up on the made-for-movie version with light sabers and backwards-speaking muppets when the real deal is just a prayer away? Everyone should want to be a child of God. It should be the cool thing to do. That's always something I've wondered about since my adolescence...how do we get adolescents psyched about God? ..beats me, that's why I'm not an ed major :-p

I'm really starting to seriously consider getting that tattoo...

may the Peace and Love of Christ be with you always